I am starting to really stall here. I am hoping that my life will more adventuresome in the warmer seasons. The only adventure today was cleaning up little boy vomit twice, cuddling said little boy all while making handmade pizza dough and sauce. Not much to really write about. I could give you the recipe for the pizza, but even that is rather, mundane. Most of life is like this though. A long string of straight-line kind of days. Sure, there was the five second excitement when Little Pea lost his breakfast, but really, that’s not what you would call a thrill seeking day.
I am still recuperating from the turmoil of yesterday, so a slow day should have been just what a needed. It wasn’t though. I am not one of those sit around and rest out the bad moments type of gal. I am one who loves to walk, and stop somewhere for a coffee, or an ice cream cone, and keep walking another five or so miles. I find it difficult to do this in our new area. One, there’s no where to walk to get something (until the summer, when the ice cream shoppe reopens) and two, it is so cold outside, a few minutes outdoors leaves you with chapped cheeks and lips. So again we sat, cooped up indoors. Little Pea needed a day like this, but my mind needed to get out.
I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I lived somewhere where it was warm all year round. I would be very unproductive inside, that’s for sure. Winter is usually the time I take on all sorts of projects inside the house. I have plenty of those to do, and strangely not an iota of desire to start. Truthfully, we live in a beautiful spot in a lovely house that I am struggling to make in to our own. There’s a pressure to make it perfect and right, without error. (Yes I am really drilling in the ‘needs to be perfect point’ here) The previous owner always hired professionals, so there are no drips, or accidental splotches on the ceilings. It’s funny, the house has a lot of built in character, but no true character traits. It’s become easier to just think and daydream about what I would do. There’s also an immense amount of regular daily work that gets in the way of the ‘pretty projects’. Somehow I need to shake up my mindset, and dig deeper to find that inner piece that wants to make this a home that says ‘us’.
Needless to say, it is difficult to write about joy when all you do is stay inside hibernating, reading books, watching movies and cuddling. I need to devise a plan of action that does not require leaving, but invites joy inside. I have no idea how to do this though. I supposed that is part of this journey.
I was talking to a good friend the other night, and we both thought it was funny how easy it is to give out advice, but how difficult it is following that same advice yourself. He was stuck. I get it. I am stuck too. My advice to him was to try a micro-movement. I cannot take credit for this idea though. For years I have been a big fan of SARK. She is an Author, Artist and Innovator. She mentors through her plenitude of journal-style books, and an online site. SARK has been in my life for over a decade now. I first met her in the book Eat Mangoes Naked: Finding Pleasure Everywhere and Dancing With the Pits. I was living in a small Ontario city where very little excitement ever occurred, and I was quickly falling in to a pretty dark mood. Then I read SARK’s book, which really helped my perception change. I may have not been living my dream life, but there was still plenty of good, even great to be found, and a lot of it to give back. I went on to read more of her books, including Make Your Creative Dreams Real. One of her steps in this book is about embracing Mirco-Movements. Baby steps. Maybe the end goal is to have a whole house painted. But that’s overwhelming. Just thinking about it makes you come to a screeching halt. So a mirco-movement might be, open the wallpaper steamer and read the how-to guide. Then go from there.
How would I apply this to letting joy inside? One small step may be switching up one of the baskets of toys that have been around for the last six weeks. Sometimes, even just that changes how the day plays out. It’s worth a shot, at least until the world chooses to thaw a little.